So it would be remiss of us not to define what, exactly, a redneck is. Foxworthy himself does it pretty well; however he likes to pepper his explanations with less-than-factual fabrications that, while hilarious, probably don’t describe EVERY dang redneck in the south. So here goes.

Generally speaking a redneck is one who lives in the southern half of the United States and, to a lesser extent, Canada. The redneck is a stereotype: they are seen as lower class, uncultured, generally genial by occasionally socially clueless, not to mention almost always Caucasian. Foxworthy has defined being a redneck as a “glorious lack of sophistication”, and is something that we’re all occasionally guilty of.

In other words, everybody can be a redneck. It’s just the people from Foxworthy’s neck of the woods (he’s from Hapeville, Georgia) that get branded as such the most.

And who better to compile such a dictionary than Jeff Foxworthy, the comedic expert on rednecks? His constant, teasing jokes on the subject of his kin practically demanded that he become the authority on their unique local parlance. Thus Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary: Words You Thought You Knew The Meaning Of was born. Published in 2005, the dictionary contains all those little redneck phrases you’ve pondered over but never understood, plus lots more you’ll be sure to enjoy.

The Dictionary proved so popular that Foxworthy’s since had more published. So what are you waiting for? Pick up your copy today, either at your bookstore (it’ll probably be in the Humor section) or online.

His standup act is based very much around the society into which he was born. Most of Foxworthy’s jokes center on redneck culture as he perceives it, and he spares no jabs when discussing the quirks of the rednecks he’s known (probably to a point past credulity, really).

And, like most comedians, much of Foxworthy’s material centers on his family. He loves to poke fun at his family’s foibles and makes light of their shortcomings often enough. Yet all the while there’s an underlying tone of affection in his voice that lets you know he still loves his family despite their shortcomings.

To cap off his comedy sketches Foxworthy often ends his acts with a series of “You might be a Redneck” jokes. In them he gives a set of circumstances that might indicate whether or not you are a redneck. Example:

“If you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws, you might be a redneck.”

or:

“If you think safe sex is a padded headboard, you might be a redneck.”

Things like that. Entire comedy albums of his have been made off these redneck jokes.

The show’s premise is fairly simple. An adult contestant is brought up on stage and set behind a podium, faced with a screen covered in trivia questions and a panel of fifth grade children. The contestant must then answer questions from a variety of primary-school questions, occasionally using the students to their advantage to help answer questions. With each successfully answered question comes an increase in winnings, bringing the contestant closer to the $1 million payout.

As all this is going on the contestant is questioned and taunted by Jeff Foxworthy, who constantly points out their inadequacies in answering simple, grade school-level trivia. And, if the contestant flunks out or drops out prematurely (which they usually do), Foxworthy forces them to face the camera and admit that they are not smarter than a fifth grader.

Nicely combining Foxworthy’s love of country music and capacity to gab with the stars, the Jeff Foxworthy Countdown is a radio show carried on over 120 markets across the United States once every week. Foxworthy spends three hours playing DJ, interviewing country music’s biggest celebrities and entertaining his listeners with his common man wit and general likeability.

Already a fan of Foxworthy’s material? Then tune in, as you’ll find him at his best – not to mention improvising! – and hear some good-quality music to boot.

A prime example of this genius comes in the form of the Jeff Foxworthy Christmas, where he parodies the 12 Days of Christmas song with his own redneck version. He substitutes the traditional elements – turtle doves, lords a-leaping and a partridge tree – for a series of redneck gifts, like hunting dogs, shotgun shells, table dancers, cans of spam and “nine year probation” for his mother. The end result is a twisted yet hilarious performance suitable not only for Christmas but any day of the year (especially if you’re already a big fan of Foxworthy and his antics).

Check out Jeff Foxworthy’s 12 days of Christmas parody below with lyrics:

Jeff Foxworthy’s 12 days of Christmas Lyrics

Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart!
(Jeff) Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?

Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Hey Bubba, you got gypped — there’s 12 days to Christmas.
(Jeff) I know that, I got it covered. Look over in the corner.
That’s yours too?
Yea!

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Man, this ain’t normal Christmas presents!
No, they’re redneck gifts!
Redneck gifts?
Yea, you know, like
if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of “Jingle Bells”
Perhaps if you think “The Nutcracker” is something you did off a high-dive.
Or, if you’ve ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.
Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.

What’s wrong with that?
I didn’t say anything wrong with it…
It’s hard to beat…

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Well, you can’t really consider it a Christmas
‘less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama.
You’re not listenin’ to me!
Get the car key outta your ear.
That’s where the nine years probation comes in…
I’m gonna do it for ya again.
Now listen…

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.