Jeff Foxworthy Christmas
Friday, May 2nd, 2008If ever there was a staple redneck comedian, it is Jeff Foxworthy. Highly praised for his self-deprecating sense of humor and willingness to humiliate contestants in front of groups of children in his game show “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”, Foxworthy is a genius at making people laugh.
A prime example of this genius comes in the form of the Jeff Foxworthy Christmas, where he parodies the 12 Days of Christmas song with his own redneck version. He substitutes the traditional elements – turtle doves, lords a-leaping and a partridge tree – for a series of redneck gifts, like hunting dogs, shotgun shells, table dancers, cans of spam and “nine year probation” for his mother. The end result is a twisted yet hilarious performance suitable not only for Christmas but any day of the year (especially if you’re already a big fan of Foxworthy and his antics).
Check out Jeff Foxworthy’s 12 days of Christmas parody below with lyrics:
Jeff Foxworthy’s 12 days of Christmas Lyrics
Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart!
(Jeff) Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Hey Bubba, you got gypped — there’s 12 days to Christmas.
(Jeff) I know that, I got it covered. Look over in the corner.
That’s yours too?
Yea!
Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Man, this ain’t normal Christmas presents!
No, they’re redneck gifts!
Redneck gifts?
Yea, you know, like
if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of “Jingle Bells”
Perhaps if you think “The Nutcracker” is something you did off a high-dive.
Or, if you’ve ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.
Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.
What’s wrong with that?
I didn’t say anything wrong with it…
It’s hard to beat…
Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.
Well, you can’t really consider it a Christmas
‘less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama.
You’re not listenin’ to me!
Get the car key outta your ear.
That’s where the nine years probation comes in…
I’m gonna do it for ya again.
Now listen…
Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.